Pain

I have a hard time believing how attached I got to being pregnant in just 5 days. I was thinking about it all the time and my behavior had changed so much. I think it was on my mind all day every day. I had changed my eating habits drastically, I changed the way I moved. The way I looked at the world was very different. I can't describe all the changes but mentally I was very different. I have been sick with a cold for a couple of weeks and was just hoping I could get well soon so I could actually tell what real pregnancy symptoms I was having instead of just attributing how I was feeling to being sick.

Now, that's all gone. Chemical pregnancy sounds so cold and distant, I didn't think it would hurt this much. I didn't think I would get so emotional and so attached. I really feel like I've lost something huge. This is the first thing ever in my life that I've truly never wanted to talk to anyone about.

It hurts.