Emotions

This past week and a half has been a roller-coaster of emotions. I have been so completely in love with Evie and James it's hurt. She is so adorable, I could just stare at her for hours. It's been wonderful having James home from work. I am going to miss him so much when he goes back on Monday. I've also been really emotional because of the hormonal changes. I've been on the verge of tears for days without having a real reason in mind. I think it's just because my life has been turned upside down and backwards and my brain and heart haven't had a chance to catch up yet. Then there's the lack of sleep. I actually haven't felt really tired but I think that's just because I've been running on adrenaline. Last night I had a moment to cry which actually made me feel better. And I got alot more sleep last night which helped with the feeling like crying all the time problem.

I've been so happy to have Evelyn here finally. I am loving the breastfeeding weightloss program. I've already lost all but 10 pounds of my pregnancy weight. I can definitely see getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight but my goal is much lower. I plan to exploit the extra 500 calories I'm burning just by breastfeeding. My healthy eating habits during the pregnancy are sticking around. I still crave fruits and veggies like mad. Salads taste so awesome! About the only unhealthy thing I still crave like crazy is cold cereal and now that it actually tastes good again I'm loving having it for breakfast every now and then.

I cannot wait to be able to start jogging again. Evie falls asleep great in her car seat so I'm hoping I can just stick her in there and go down to the work out room here while she's still too little for my jogging stroller. We will also take long walks together with the regular stroller which I hope puts her to sleep as well. She hasn't actually tried that stroller out yet.

It was so wonderful having my mom here to help for the first week. I can't believe how much she did just in the background while I was still reeling with the major life change. I was sad to see her go and I can't wait until the family comes back up for the baby blessing in November. I can't believe Evie will be almost two months old by that time. Having her come early has made me recalculate her age in relation to all these vacations and holidays. She was supposed to be only a month old for Halloween and almost two months old for Thanksgiving. Since she was almost a month early she's going to be that much older. Kind of nice actually to think she'll be almost 3 months for the trip down to Utah for Thanksgiving.

I am finally starting to see how I can fit in my own activities in between taking care of her. I'm learning how to get her to sleep longer at night and we are both re-learning how to breastfeed after that first week of just trying to get her to eat. With the jaundice making her so tired we basically just tried to get food into her how ever was easiest since her awake time was not much more than 10 minutes at a time. It was almost impossible to keep her awake at the breast so we resorted to pumped milk from a bottle and even a syringe with a tube that she took while sucking on our fingers. Now that she's gained back to her birth weight and past she's more awake and strong enough to breastfeed again but she's been spoiled by not having to work for her milk so even the 30 seconds it takes for my milk to let-down is enough to frustrate her especially if she's really hungry. It's exciting to see her learning and progressing though. I love the little triumphs we get when she does something better. I can't imagine how excited I will be when she finally takes her first step.

It's been an exciting week and even though I haven't loved every minute of it I can definitely say I'm loving being a mom and my life has definitely changed for the best! :)